It's hard to believe that Ethan is already three years old! Of course, I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that Jack is 5 and Wyatt is 9 months (tomorrow). I think back to that day in 2008 and how our world just stopped. I went into the hospital thinking I knew exactly how delivery would go and how great everything would be. But then everything went wrong....Ethan was having a hard time breathing on his own so they took him to a special room to hook him up to oxygen and wheeled me back to recovery from my c-section - alone. I cried so much those first days. It was so hard to be in that curtained recovery area hearing all the other moms come and go with their babies.
Jason stayed with Ethan the whole time and they kept telling me, oh they'll bring him to you soon, it'll only be another 20 minutes or so. Then they moved me to my room, again alone. I eventually got to see Ethan and it was so hard. He was so tiny (OK, not so tiny - he was 9 pounds, 1 ounce) and hooked up to a breathing tube. It broke my heart to see him like that. Then I went back to my room, alone. A maternity ward is a very lonely place to be without a baby. Eventually it was decided to move him to the NICU so he could be monitored better. He had low pulse oxygen levels so he needed extra oxygen for while, which is fairly common for early delivered c-section babies. We had decided to deliver a few days earlier than normal so that he could share a birthday with his Granddad (Jack shares one with his Grandma) and it was a good thing too, as when they delivered him they found my amniotic fluid to be very low.
Luckily he only needed to be in the NICU for a few days and he only needed a little bit of extra oxygen but it's still scary, especially in the moment. But it was the in the NICU that we learned that he might have Down syndrome and our world changed. We didn't know anything about what that meant and all we could think about are the stereotypes. It didn't help that the NICU doctor was very harsh in her opinions, asking why didn't we get tested during the pregnancy so we could have "done something about it?" Jason about came undone with that comment!
We did tests and gathered information. We were lucky that Ethan had no heart issues or other medical conditions and the hospital provided us with lots of information and support group contacts. It helped but we still had to wrap our heads around it all.
This is Jack giving Ethan the present he made for him. He is such a great brother! I remember when he came to visit us in the hospital at just over 2 years old, I heard him ask Nana, "what's wrong with baby Ethan?"
So here we are, three years later and I look at my beautiful son who has come so far. He's healthy, walking, starting to communicate better, and just starting school. He's taught me a lot about patience and compassion and while I know we still have hard days ahead of us I'm so proud of where he is at today.
Ethan fully understood his birthday this year and loved his cake - even tried to blow his candles out himself. He didn't have enough strength behind his puff and instead got too close to the candles and singed a bit of his hair!!
He really loved opening the gifts - everything was "wow!"
Our crazy life for the past three years has been lots of ups and downs but Ethan continues to amaze me and teach me new things. We have met some amazing friends and therapists through Ethan and I'm thankful everyday that he was brought into our lives. One of my favorite sayings is, it's now having what you want but wanting what you've got. And I do!
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