For The Love of a Son

 Every time I turn around my kids get a little bit bigger! 

I cannot believe that Ethan turned 4 last week and I really can't believe how much Ethan has changed in the past year.  I look back to those first few days in the hospital when we were given Ethan's diagnosis of Down syndrome and the hard time of coming to terms with our new reality of what life had in store for us.

We shared tears, and horrible negative thoughts and all the wrong things while defending to the core our innocent, sweet baby who was hooked up to tubes and wires in the NICU against doctors who questioned why we "didn't do something about this?" 

Well, if you mean by "this" my amazing child who is walking, talking, going to school, playing with his brothers and doing all the things that every other four year old is doing then I did do something about it, I brought him into this world to be a productive member of society who doesn't question people who make negative comments about children with special needs and bring new parents to tears and beyond an anger that you can't even imagine.

 While I'm not going to deny that the past four years haven't been harder then I've ever imagined or that I've cried myself to sleep on many a night, we quickly came to terms with our new reality and set in to provide Ethan will every service available to him and make his life as normal as possible.  Now all I have to do is look at who Ethan has become through all our hard work (sometime I wonder who's worked harder, Ethan or me?) to realize we have been successful so far.

 He is a charmer who has brought so much love into this family and taught us more about patience, understanding and individuality than I think we would have learned otherwise.

 I love seeing how much he has grown - this past year especially.  I really think being in preschool has helped tremendously.  He is now walking independently (even running to keep up with his brothers a lot of the time), speaking more and more everyday and basically able to communicate all his needs --  all the things we have taken for granted with Jack and now Wyatt.

 I know we all face a harder road than most (but not all) with his life but I know he will go far and live a very happy, fulfilled, self-contained life and pursue all the things that make him happy.

 I am internally grateful for all the wonderful friends and people we have met over the years that wouldn't have been a part of our lives if it hadn't been for Ethan.  The therapists and teachers he has been fortunate enough to work with are amazing people.
I love that he has good friends just like any other child his age; friends that make him smile and laugh and hug when he sees them.

 We are fortunate with Ethan that we haven't had many health issues to deal with.  Mostly we deal with his stubbornness and laziness that I hope he will overcome at some point, but secretly I think he is far too much like his daddy!

 I especially love to watch Ethan interact with his brothers.  You can see how much they love being together and how nicely they play - for the most part.
I think Jack will be a great older, protective brother who will constantly look out for him when needed; although I see Ethan being scrapy enough to take care of himself and strong enough within to not let what others think of him effect him.
And I think Wyatt will be the perfect companion and most definitely be his partner in crime, or more likely the ringleader!

 I look at these boys and my heart is just filled with love - and my body weary thinking about keeping up with their craziness.  God grant me the patience that these kids need from me that I more often than not don't have.

 I look at that face and I celebrate alongside of him just how far he has come in his four years of life.  We celebrate the little things just a tiny bit more than most because we see the hard work our kids HAVE to do and how they have to fit into a world that doesn't necessarily want them in it to the degree that we would like.

 But I see so much more inclusiveness and understanding in society today -- Ethan is fortunate.

 We enjoyed celebrating Ethan's birthday with Nana and Granddad over the computer since Ethan and Granddad share the same birthday.  They gave Ethan the bicycle in the first couple of photos back when they were here over Christmas and New Year's.

 While Jack still doesn't like cake, Ethan and Wyatt sure do, as you will see below!

 We had another celebration over the weekend, since Jason was out of town for the actual birthday, but it was a nice treat to have a cupcake on the actual day with family.

Happy Birthday to my sweet, stubborn, loveable Ethan!  May your life be filled with many more happy celebrations.  We love you very much (insert tears here).

XOXO